Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
