so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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