i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
MIDGETS
????
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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