I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
