ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
