You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
