You're earring is so big in my mouth
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My vagina is very pro this idea
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
