I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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