evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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