piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
