just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
