can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
