I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
