you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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