We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
