Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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