Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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