I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
