I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
