Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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