if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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