I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
