Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
