she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
