I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
