I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
