If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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