would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
