I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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