Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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