She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
