i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
