He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
This baby is an asshole
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
