Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
no, he came in my armpit
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
