She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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