The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
