Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
