Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
