Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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