Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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