Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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