last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
