Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
