Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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