Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
