i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
