i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
it's great music for shaving your balls
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
