It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
