i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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