I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
