so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
