i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We talked him into tasing himself.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
