the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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