So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
